HOW TO CHOOSE A CHURCH
Choosing a church home is one of the most significant decisions you will ever make--one that reaches into eternity. May each of us spend at least as much time and effort making that decision as we do deciding on our earthly dwelling.
The decision you make about what church to attend will greatly affect your spiritual life and the lives of your children. In fact, the decisions you make now will affect your descendants and the generations to come. That's a sobering reality.
Finding a church that’s right for you can be an overwhelming process, and there’s nothing wrong with visiting a few congregations before you settle on one. Here are a few questions to ask yourself as you seek God’s will in this matter.
Bad Reasons for Choosing a Church
1. “THE PASTOR IS REALLY GOOD.”
Perhaps no other man apart from Jesus has had a bigger influence on the church than Paul. But here’s the thing: neither you nor I would have been a big fan of his preaching style. Paul had a reputation for being unimpressive in person and giving contemptible sermons (2 Corinthians 10:10). One sermon in particular was so bad it lulled a parishioner to sleep who then fell out the window to his death (Acts 20:9).
Needless to say, if he were still alive today, Paul would probably not be a staple on your podcast feed. He wouldn’t be invited to speak at your favorite Christian conference. Most large churches probably wouldn’t even consider hiring him for a teaching pastor position. This is the same guy God chose to preach before dignitaries and kings, to plant churches, and write much of the New Testament. Apparently God has very different criteria than we do.
If your primary goal is to be entertained, follow an entertaining pastor. If your primary goal is to know Jesus, follow a pastor who can lead you to the throne. If you don’t know how to assess which is which, ask yourself whether people walk away from the worship gathering thinking, “Wow, that pastor is good,” or “Wow, our God is good.” Few people would have said the first statement about Paul’s preaching, but many thousands experienced the second as a result of his ministry.
2. “THE DOCTRINE IS SPOT ON.”
Is theology important? You bet it is, but what a church believes is not necessarily reflected by its name, affiliations or statement of faith. If you want to know what a church really believes, pay attention to how its people live.
They say they believe in a God who cares about the oppressed? Pay attention to who they advocate for. They say they believe in the great commission? Watch how willing they are to inconvenience themselves to see it fulfilled. They say they believe in grace? Watch how they treat others, particularly those they disagree with.
By all means, weigh with serious consideration what a church believes before calling it home. Just don’t look exclusively to a formal statement to tell you what that is.
3. “THEY HAVE A GREAT KIDS’ MINISTRY.”
We can fully appreciate the importance of taking kids into consideration when choosing a church home. But let’s get something painfully clear: pastoring your kids is your job. You can’t outsource that. It is your most important vocation, and no church or program can do it for you. They need to hear and see it from you first. And the good news is when it’s happening at home, you can do without what most consider a “great” kids’ ministry.
You want your kids to love church. but you should want them to love Jesus more. And that can happen without bounce-house evangelism or ski balling for Jesus. In fact, sometimes those things just get in the way. Most important is that we as parents are teaching and modeling for our kids what it means to follow Jesus and that there are other godly men and women in their life to do the same. And this can happen without all the bells and whistles.
Furthermore, if shopping for the best kids’ program is our primary motivation for choosing a church, we are modeling a consumer approach to church that may very well shape our kids as much or more than any curriculum.
4. “IT MEETS MY NEEDS.”
While the details of what we are looking for may vary, too often the primary factor in choosing a church is what we get out of it. This is a dangerous approach to church selection, and quite honestly, it flies in the face of the Gospel.
Why? Because it positions us as a consumer before we even show up. It suggests that the church exists to meet our needs. Anyone see a problem here? Our primary call as a part of Jesus’ church is to contribute, not just to consume. We are to die to self (Mark 8:34-35), to lay down our life for others (1 John 3:16), to consider them more important than ourselves (Philippians 2:3).
So go ahead; be thoughtful and deliberate as you choose a new church home, but please understand the purpose of the church as you consider your criteria.
Perhaps then the “right” church for you isn’t the one that offers you the most or where you feel the most comfortable. In fact, the right church could be the one where you’re most uncomfortable; where you get less and give more; where Jesus, rather than your preferences, is the object of worship. Perhaps the right church is the one where some of your needs go unmet, but where you get to be a part of meeting the needs of the world.
The right church just might sneak up on you. It may not look anything like you expected. And once it has your heart, somewhere along the way you might even forget to ask, “What’s in it for me?”
TIPS FOR CHOOSING A CHURCH
1. Does this church believe in the essentials of the Christian faith?
- The Bible is inspired by the Holy Spirit (2 Timothy 3:16).
- God forgives our sins and offers everlasting life as a gift of his grace(1 John 1:9; John 3:16).
- Salvation is not earned (Ephesians 2:8).
- There is a real heaven and hell (Revelation 21:4-12).
If the church you’re checking out doesn’t believe any of these things or adhere to the Bible as the Word of God, then keep looking. Scripture use some pretty harsh language to talk about false teachers (2 Corinthians 11:1-14, 2 Peter 2).
2. Does this church base itself on what the Bible teaches?
God has revealed his character most fully through the person of Jesus, and we learn about Jesus through reading the Bible. So the church service should be steeped in Scripture: from readings, to worship, to prayer, to the message. It should be the basis for all the church preaches, teaches, and lives. By applying the truths found in the Bible, the church will refocus your heart, allowing you to become more like Jesus.Jesus said that the wise man builds his house upon rock and the foolish man builds his house upon sand (Matt. 7:24-27). When storms come, the stability of the foundation determines both the direction and durability of the structure. Whether you're searching for a home to live in or a church to worship in, its foundation is crucial.
There are four main components that make up the foundation of a strong local church:
A Proper View of Scripture. When investigating a potential church home, pay particular attention to how it views the Bible. Does it hold to the inspiration and inerrancy of the Scriptures? Does it believe the Bible is the only rule for faith and practice (2 Tim. 3:16; 2 Pet. 1:20-21)?
An Emphasis on Bible Teaching and Preaching. Observe what kind of preaching is done. Is it primarily expository, topical, or evangelistic in nature? Is the main diet repetitive salvation messages each week, or are believers being fed from the Word (Acts 20:27; 1 Tim. 4:13-16; 2 Tim. 4:1-5)? There should be a strong commitment to high-quality Bible teaching.
Doctrinal Soundness. Just as you would inspect the soundness of a house's foundation, so you should investigate the doctrinal stance of the churches you visit. Where do they stand on such crucial issues of the Christian faith as the virgin birth and deity of Jesus Christ; the depravity of mankind; the work of Christ on the cross; His death, burial, and bodily resurrection; salvation by grace through faith alone; the second coming of Christ; and the ordinances of baptism and Communion?
Doctrinal Practice. Observe whether the church practices the doctrines it claims to believe and teach. As James said to the church at large, "Prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves" (James 1:22; cf. Luke 6:46; John 13:17).
3. Does it align with my biblical convictions?
The reason why there are so many different types of churches is because each emphasizes different aspects of the Christian faith. That doesn’t mean one expression of faith is “more godly” than others. By emphasizing different aspects of God and his call, each denomination compliments the others. So take the time to study the Bible and pray to discern what you believe concerning the aspects of the faith that are most important to you, knowing it’s best to find a church that best aligns with those beliefs.
4. Examine its structure
The structural components of a local church provide not only its strength, but also dictate the character and direction of itsministry. Those components include:
Church Government. Find out if the church's leaders function according to New Testament principles (1 Tim. 3:1-13; 5:17-20; Titus 1:4-9; Heb. 13:7, 17). Do they understand the centrality of Christ as head of the church and His desire to rule His church through a plurality of godly men (Eph. 1:22; 4:15; 5:23; Col.1:18; 1 Cor. 11:3)?
Evidence of Order. The church's ministry, including its services, teaching, and administration, should have an obvious sense of order. Some church services exhibit as much lack of planning as do homes with poorly thought-out floor plans. Some churches handle the Lord's resources and work in such a haphazard way that they bring shame to the name of Christ. As Paul said in speaking of the church, "Let all things be done properly and in an orderly manner" (1 Cor. 14:40).
Functional Goals and Objectives. As you investigate a new church, find out if the leadership has set any goals. Has the church planned for future progress and direction? Does it have in mind particular methods of reaching those goals? Like Paul, we as a church need "to run in such a way, as not without aim" (1 Cor. 9:26).
The Size. When purchasing a home, some people prefer the warmth and quaintness of a small home in a quiet rural setting. Others prefer living in a larger structure in an urban area. The same is true when considering the size of a church. Some Christians love being involved in a large urban ministry with hundreds or even thousands of people. Others feel lost in the vastness of such a ministry and fare much better in a smaller congregation. Again, finding your niche in the Body of Christ requires the leading of the Holy Spirit in your life.
5. Does it help me to worship God?
Sometimes, the style of music at a church, or the language used in the message, or even the way prayers are said, can distract you from what you’re there for: to give glory to God with other Christians. If you find yourself routinely annoyed with the way things are done in a certain church community, it might not be the best fit for you. Chances are, if you keep attending, these little things will get even more distracting as time goes on.
6. Observe how the church functions
Look for an emphasis on worshipping God. See if the leadership stresses the importance of honoring and glorifying God in all things (1 Cor. 10:31; Col.3:17). Also observe the involvement of the individual members. Do they exercise their spiritual gifts among the Body of Christ (Rom. 12:3-8; Eph. 4:11-13; 1 Pet. 4:10-11), or do they seem to expect the pastor to do everything?
5. Am I Right For This Church? Can my family get involved?
Does the church emphasize evangelism as one of its primary functions? Are home and foreign missions an important part of its ministry (Matt. 28:19-20; Mark 16:15; Acts 1:8)? What about discipleship? Do you see church members and leaders seeking to make disciples and reproduce themselves in the lives of others (2 Tim. 2:2; Titus 2:3-7; Matt. 28:19-20)?
A strong local church is marked by love. Do the members seem to genuinely care for one another? Do they minister to each other's needs? As you become acquainted with the church, do you sense that the members are loving one another as Christ commanded (John 13:34-35)? Notice if friendships form easily (cf. Heb. 10:24-25; Phil. 2:1-4; Eph. 4:1-3).
The leadership of the church you choose should be committed to teaching and supporting God's design for the family (Eph. 5:22--6:4; Col. 3:18-21; Titus 2:1-8; 1 Pet. 3:1-7). Does the church schedule contribute to or take away from the strength of the family?
7. Checking Its Environment
If you have ever gone house hunting, you know what it's like to walk through and sense the atmosphere of the place. It can feel cold and gloomy or warm and inviting. It can have a homey feel or it can be impersonal--almost like a museum.
Doubtless you have had the same experience when attending various churches. Certain observable factors contribute to the overall atmosphere of a local church. Those environmental components are usually manifested in attitudes.
A High View of God. Proverbs 9:10 says, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." It should be obvious that the people, from the leadership down, focus on the glory and majesty of God. Do they take God seriously and exalt Him in all they do? Their view of God will affect every aspect of their lives and ministry. Ask yourself if God is the focus of their worship or if they're preoccupied with each other or themselves.
The Presence of a Sincere Faith. Is it obvious to you that the church lives and operates by faith? Are the people willing to trust God (Heb. 11:1, 6; Eph. 3:20; 2 Cor. 5:7; 1 Thess. 5:24)?
Spirit of Sacrifice. Can you see that the church members are willing to sacrifice themselves and their possessions to advance God's kingdom (Rom. 12:1; 2 Cor. 8:3; Matt. 6:33)? Do you sense they would sacrifice themselves for one another (Phil. 2:3-4; John 15:13; Eph. 5:1-2)?
Proper Attitudes Toward the Pastor and Other Leaders. As you talk with the people, be sensitive to how they regard their leaders. Do they appreciate and esteem the pastor and other leaders "very highly in love because of their work" (1 Thess. 5:13)? Are they fully behind them, giving their spiritual, emotional, and material support (1 Tim. 5:17-18; Heb. 13:7, 17)?
Spirit of Unity. This is often the most obvious attitude radiating from a local congregation. An outsider is usually able to sense very quickly whether a church is unified in its ministry. That has a great effect on its testimony to the community and reflects on the name of our Lord (John 13:34-35; 1 Cor. 1:10-17; 3:1-9; Eph. 4:1-6; Phil. 2:1-5; 4:1-5).
5. Am I Right For This Church? Can my family get involved?
Being part of a church — not just going to one, but actually contributing to one — is a way of serving God. Each person has gifts, skills, or qualities that can enrich church life. Find out what your gifts are and whether there is a way you can use them at this church. And if you have children, consider whether that church offers them opportunities to love and follow Jesus.
Look at yourself and ask, Are there opportunities here for me to serve and exercise my spiritual gifts? Does this local body have a need that by God's enabling I can meet? Am I willing to get what the church can do for me, but also what I can do for the Lord as I serve Him in this church? Am I willing to give of my time, money, energy, and prayers to contribute to the success of this church (Mark 12:30; Rom. 12:1)?
Every church has its flaws. So don’t be surprised if you can’t find “the perfect church”… it doesn’t exist. If your search has gone on longer than a few weeks, it might be best to just choose a nearby church and stick with it. If you find a church that possesses most but not all of the characteristics we've mentioned, don't immediately disregard it. Consider whether God wants to use you to help improve that local body as you exercise your own particular spiritual gifts. A church can become a good fit simply because you’re investing in it. A community doesn’t exist simply to meet your needs; what is more important is what you bring to it. Theologian Eugene Peterson has this advice for people looking for a church:
“Go to the nearest church and commit yourself to being there for six months. If it doesn’t work out, find somewhere else. But don’t look for programs, don’t look for entertainment, and don’t look for a great preacher. A Christian congregation is not a glamorous place, not a romantic place.”
But it is a place where we can forget our busy schedules for a few minutes, marvel at all God has done, and learn something new about him together with a small gathering of his family. It’s a place that confirms we were not created to face the trials in this life alone. And it’s a place where we can be used by God to bless others and to be blessed in return.
A Christian church is a family you fully belong to.
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